Our Relationship With Physical Things

Our house just flooded. It was quite the marvelous catastrophe.

Sometime in the morning, while we were at work, the water return pipe in the bathroom upstairs split and started pumping water onto the floor. It washed down the cold air return, destroying the furnace. The carpets outside of the bathroom were soaked, and water washed down into the floor below.

From there things got interesting. The water moved through the main floor's ceiling, dripping everywhere, eventually creating holes allowing it to pour more freely. The main floor was eventually drenched. Then, the process repeated itself in the basement. By the time the leak was discovered a large section of the ceiling down there had caved in, and several inches of water had accumulated.

Ultimately, due to mold and rot concerns, we were forced to move out the next day. This was almost two weeks ago, and last I checked the place still hadn't dried.

That first night though, after sending our daughter to a friend's house, we decided to spend the night there hoping against hope that everything would be fine. Industrial dehumidifiers on every floor and dozens of huge fans shook the place, and we sincerely hoped that somehow, some way, the water would dry out and we wouldn't be forced from the place that had been our home for the past decade.

Even as we laid there in bed that night, the room thundering like a factory floor, we knew in our hearts that this was the end of our life in this place.

Somehow it was difficult to be upset about it though. Even though this was the end of this house, it was hardly the end of us.

So the next morning, when the place only got more humid and the carpets only seemed to get more soaked, we went about the business of packing the place up as quickly as possible. Since time was against us and we needed to extract the critical stuff first, we packed asking one question above all else: "do we really need this thing?"

The answer was astounding. As we packed up our house, we discovered hundreds of pounds of keepsakes, appliances, books and nick-nacks that we just didn't need. The sheer volume of the objects we owned that weren't actually necessary truly astounded us. When we bought these things they were precious to us. Now, they were being tossed into extra-large black garbage bags, not worth the strain of packing properly, and were being shipped off to the Goodwill or the dumpster.

Let's be clear, though: our home has never really seemed cluttered. It wasn't until we were forced to look in every corner and forgotten drawer that we realized how many things had piled up over the years.

In the end, we got rid of almost half of everything we owned. In the new house you can't tell, it looks reasonably well furnished and we lack for nothing. We just de-cluttered.

What I never could have anticipated is how amazing this feels. It's true what they say: our possessions end up owning us. Getting rid of them truly has made us feel free, and living in this new house feels much more civilized and healthy knowing that there isn't anything hiding in the corners or forgotten in cupboards.

I'm not saying that I'm ready to live a monk's life (we're still looking for the "right" new couch, for instance) but now we only let things in that will serve our lives, and immediately rid ourselves of useless baggage. Our attitudes have really shifted, and we find that when we see something beautiful in the world we're no longer as inclined to want to own it. The thought of owning something we don't need, in fact, has begun to seem strangely self-destructive.

This fresh start feels so good, it's a wonder we didn't do it ages ago. Spring is coming up. Plan some cleaning. You'll be amazed how it affects your mind and soul.

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Growth Means Becoming Someone Else

You can't become the person you want to be unless you're willing to let go of the person you are.

I knew a guy once who used to say "well I'm just like that, that's just who I am," at least twice during every conversation we ever had.

This meant that, as the years wore on, he never did anything new. Everything was filtered through the thought "is this who I really am? Am I a guy that does something like that?" Then he'd go inside, look for a memory of something he had experienced that might be similar, and if he didn't find one he'd refuse to participate.

You could say that this was his Ego dominating his life. His current state was the perfect state, and must not be touched.

Most people sense the inherent danger in this. To truly live and extend oneself, you must leave your comfort zone. You must do something wonderful and new even if it "isn't you". The alternative is to lead a stagnate, colourless life.

Recently I was reminded that there is another step. Dipping your toe in unfamiliar waters just to see what is there is only the beginning.

What if there's something you want to do that is radically different than the way you've been your whole life? What if you want to learn a new language, or become a musician, or an aerobics instructor? What if there's absolutely nothing in your entire life that would indicate you could pull any of that off, but you've decided that it's something you want?

First of all, if you're on the fence about something like this, I hereby encourage you to go for it. Life is far too long to spend it suffering in the hell that is "what if".

Next, spend a half-hour every single day doing the new thing. Now, your life won't accommodate the new thing because you don't currently do the new thing. That isn't who you are. But if you want it to become this new person who does this thing, then something else is going to have to be removed for a half-hour a day.

This is where the sacrifice of who you were comes in. Something in your life is going to have to go away so that you can replace it with this new thing.

That might be easy. After all, you might be the kind of guy who spends 3 hours watching TV every night. Now you can be a 2 hour a night kind of guy. That'll be just the way you are.

Or, it might be hard. You might be pushed for family time, work time, and your volunteer work on top of all of the housework that never seems to be caught up. If that's the case, either your work hours or the volunteer hours need shaving back, or someone else is going to have to handle more housework. In any case, you're going to have to pick something and let it go.

Or, it might be nearly impossible. You might be trying to change a habit or get over a phobia that has controlled you all your life. Letting go of these things you do in favor of NOT doing them is tough. Still, people do it every day. You just have to decide to do it, figure out what you want to replace it with, and go out there to find the help you need to cross the finish line.

No matter what the case, however, everything is always possible as long as you're willing to let go of your old life in favor of the new one. To our Ego, that sounds a bit like dying. It will fight back with anger and fear and bitter cynical "but you don't understand" nonsense. Ignore it, and change anyway.

Kill the Ego definition of who you are, and give birth to the new Ego definition of who you are becoming.

Just one last thought: the things we say and do in a day define us. Thinking and dreaming don't count. So if you've read a new book and adopted a new philosophy, more power to you, but you haven't changed unless either your actions or your words have. Don't let the Ego trick you into thinking that simply wishing will make it so!

Now. The world is yours. How would you like to enjoy it?

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Manifestation Fundamentals: Aim, Relax, and Push Only When Conditions Are Right

If you look very carefully around the Niagara Region these past few days you might have noticed that we're getting a bit of snow.

This makes driving conditions tricky. Worse, for some reason the de-icing spray they put on the QEW this year seems to be converting the snow into a slick gel-like substance that has sent, quite literally, over 400 cars into the ditch so far this season according to the OPP.

In short: this has got to be the most fun driving season we've had in ages!

I mean, usually it's completely easy. You pick a direction, stomp on the gas, and know that eventually you're going to get there. Boring. Most of the time you don't even remember the trip.

Now, though, the experience is really spiced up. Slam that gas pedal and you absolutely will find yourself spinning out of control. You have to feather it, paying attention to how much traction you have and how much momentum you can create. You also have to be watching way, way ahead to see what the traffic is doing, if the lights are changing, and if anybody is going to come stumbling out into the road.

The difficulty level on this game just went way up, and you'll remember the trip when you get home!

How this relates to manifestation is fairly obvious. Life is not a perfectly smooth asphalt surface that you have complete control over. It's messy, variable, and if you achieve guru-like skills you will still only ever have a clumsy control over your momentum at best.

So, work with it:

•  Decide on your goal. Get it fixed in your mind, and keep an eye on it wherever you are, whatever you are doing. (Watch where you're going.)
• Watch for obstacles, and react accordingly. This way they may get in your way, but will never stop you for long. (Keep scanning traffic and looking way ahead.)
• Quitting anything abruptly or spontaneously is dangerous. Think things through, and if you leave projects that aren't getting you where you want to go, do so gracefully. (Never slam on the brakes!)
• When you seem to be pulled off course (taking a corner in the snow), relax (take your foot off the gas) and just go where life is taking you while never losing sight of your goal. Keep aiming at your goal, but don't fight against the momentum. Work with it.
• When it seems like you have all the tools you need and the obstacles are out of the way, don't hesitate! It is time to achieve your goal! (Hit the gas when you get grip again.)

Safe driving everyone!

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Manifestation Fundamentals - Stupid Jerks

You know the type. I meet them every day. They drive slow in the fast lane. They pay in pennies at the checkout. They stare at the menu at Tim Horton's for fifteen minutes, unsure of what they want, even though it already took them ten minutes in line to get that far.

They smoke, they spit, they swear, they smell, and they're in my way. They're too loud, too self-absorbed, too ignorant, and too uncooperative. They ignore my good ideas and are probably conspiring against me. Plus, they're probably completely evil.

They're ruining everything, and they're why things aren't going my way. They're the source of everything that is wrong with the world. If they would just smarten up and do things right, my dreams could come true easily, overnight.

What if I told you, however, that maybe I'm just a jerk? I know, it seems unlikely, but if I want to really start manifesting things in my life, I should indulge this crazy idea for a minute.

If you've spent ten seconds looking at "Law of Attraction" material you've been exposed to a common scene. It goes something like this: our miserable hero decides to perk up and think positively, and suddenly all the mean people in their life magically disappear or change their attitudes.

I've tried it too, but found that, strangely, people are still kind of annoying. What am I doing wrong?

This is because of what I call "The First Fundamental of Manifestation":

To work with The Law of Attraction properly, you must transform yourself into a person who has this ability. Change is not optional.

It's not about simply adopting a new philosophy or learning a skill. You don't just get some instructions on manifestation and follow them. Rather, you realize that you are already manifesting.

All of these jerks surrounding me? They're my doing. Because that's who I am. I'm the hateful little jerk that looks at people with disdain and irritation just because they're out there living their lives in ways that don't directly serve my ego.

My irritation would have been impossible if I had chosen compassion instead. But I didn't.

My impatience would have been impossible if I had faith in the person in front of me that they were doing the best they could. A moment's empathy would have dissolved my impatience. I didn't bother.

Those people who just don't listen to my ideas? They have reasons that, to them, made perfect sense. Those who manifest become curious about how to work with those reasons, rather than wasting time being wounded at having their ideas ignored.

Just as an experiment, try owning that for a minute. Everyone is awesome, all things are possible, and you decided to ignore all of that so that you could be annoyed and feel inconvenienced.

I need to accept that as true. If I'm unwilling to do so, then I'm choosing to manifest a world of stupid jerks who all work against me.

It is about recognizing that the people who annoy me are actually not annoying. I'm just the kind of person that gets annoyed by them. And that's not their problem. There is nothing wrong with them at all. This is all on me, and so from now on, I'm transforming into someone who isn't going to react like this. I'm working on it.

It is about accepting that there is always, always a story I don't know about:

• He's driving slow in the fast lane because he's scared about merging traffic ever since the accident last year, where his wife got seriously injured.
• She's paying with pennies because she's out of money, the bank is far away, and she can't afford a car.
• He can't pick an item from the menu at Tim Horton's because he has vision problems that went undiagnosed throughout school, which also made it difficult for him to pick up reading skills. He lives with the embarrassment of that every day in a society filled with text.
• She is having a hard time taking me seriously because, when I walked in, I inadvertently insulted her with that comment I made about slow drivers. Her husband drives slow ever since the accident because she's terrified and he loves her. She suffers from nightmares about it to this day, and she blames pushy drivers like me.
• Yeah, he smells. He's tried everything on the shelves in the "Bath & Beauty" section but nothing works. It's actually a medical condition and there are treatments for it, but nobody's ever suggested that to him before.

It is about recognizing that I am the kind of person that seeks out the stupid and selfish. I've honed my "stupidity detector" so well that I can detect the weakest signal and amplify it thousands of times, so that it comes through sharply, loud and clear to my senses, as if the world is filled with its horrid vibration.

Meanwhile, my "awesome detector" is so broken down it only tunes in to a few random frequencies, or maybe just a couple of the loudest in-your-face moments. I remember things used to be so much better, but that's only because back then, I knew how to notice the good in the world so much better.

Accept people for the perfect beings they are, making the best choices they can given the circumstances. Do that and suddenly everything changes. Everybody is worth knowing, and every one of their experiences is fascinating to witness. Life moves along smoothly, with no real noticeable obstacles. Everyone is interested in being your partner.

In a world like that, this "manifestation" stuff is child's play.

IMPORTANT: There's only one solution for someone who is abusing you: cut them out of your life until you can determine that it's possible to relate to them in a way where you don't get abused. This article isn't about that. Do not expose yourself to abuse. Just get away from it. Period. Safety first people!

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Spiritual Influence: Watch The Signal To Noise Ratio

Intuitives spend a lot of time and effort on one thing: becoming more intuitive. As they hone their craft they become more sensitive to what they are feeling and thinking, and develop ways of converting that raw data into information.

On a very basic level, this starts as "this feels bad, it must be bad," and "this feels good, it must be good." Makes sense, right?

As we develop this part of ourselves, we start trusting our emotions more and more. We do this for a good reason: they frequently reveal things that were hidden. After a number of times where listening to our intuition reveals things we would have had no way of knowing before, it's only natural that we stop judging the feelings and just go with them.

The problem is that sometimes we completely forget that, like all humans, our emotions are at the mercy of our bodies - and our bodies don't always react in a way that makes any sense at all.

Take the new moon, for example. I've found that whenever the moon goes dark, I get a rush of emotion for a few days. This has everything to do with the way the moon is interacting with my body, and nothing at all to do with the specific emotions I'm experiencing.

Of course, I didn't realize this at first. When I first became sensitive to it I just couldn't understand why I was alternately so upset, then passionate, and then melancholy. I started losing sleep. I started suspecting some kind of negative influence. I started to wonder if maybe I was doing something wrong. "What are you trying to tell me," I would ask my guides.

Desperate for answers, I started to run down a number of theories. There were a few wild goose chases.

Then, one day, I looked at the calendar, looked at the last few months, and noticed a pattern. The new moon. It comes around, and I freak out a little. It finishes, and calm returns.

That's all it was. For goodness sakes...

So now that I know, I accept the energy with open arms and find myself incredibly productive and creative at these times. Starting new projects as the new moon approaches, at least for me, gives me a great running start. I definitely look forward to the galvanizing force.

Please understand though, I'm not trying to tell you anything about the moon. What I'm trying to tell you is this: the better you are at tuning into the subtle energies of the universe, the more you will find yourself influenced by them in ways you might not realize. When that happens you have a choice: shield against these energies (which means block them out), or let them in and make them useful.

Let me be clear: both of these choices are perfectly safe and perfectly acceptable.

The only dangerous choice is to vehemently assume that your feeling "means something", and to go hunting for that meaning. The human mind is, by design, a pattern-matching machine. If you're experiencing a rush of emotion and look to the people around you for the cause, you will find it whether it is there or not.

Now, what would make this article really spectacular is to finish off with the magic pill that you can swallow to instantly know the difference between some external influence telling you something about the world, or to just blame last night's nightmares on an allergic reaction to cashews. It would be awesome if there was an easy way to tell the difference.

But there isn't. It takes patience, it takes experience, and it takes time. There are no true shortcuts when it comes to spiritual growth, so my only real advice is this: take each sensation, each emotion, and each idea that pops into your head for what it is. Don't assign meaning, and don't assign blame. Observe yourself, observe the world, and wait for the lesson that the Universe is trying to teach you to become apparent.

Allow it to take as much time as needed. Try not to force it, and allow all possible conclusions to remain only possibilities. Never commit yourself to a "truth", as actually "knowing" anything for certain in this life is not what we were born to do here. We are meant to experience and observe, that's all.

Accept all of this, and the best way to handle the energies around you will become clear in due time.

And don't forget: keep breathing.

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Mainfestation Fundamentals: Why?

The Universe doesn't care if you're strong or weak, clever or stupid, educated or ignorant. It doesn't even care if you're "correct" in your spiritual philosophy.

It only cares about one thing: are you being completely clear about this thing you want?

This means not just having a well-defined notion of what you want, but of why you want it. As mentioned above, your motives don't have to be virtuous, they just have to be honest. You need to get to the root of your motivation, and fully acknowledge all of it, not just the parts that make you proud or sound good when you share them with others.

For instance: I'm writing this article because I love Kathy Upper and Spiritual Niagara. I believe in what we're doing and I believe in the people of the Niagara Region, and anything I can do to help is my absolute honor and privilege to do.

If I stopped there, however, I would be being very selective in my honesty, wouldn't I?

I also love the idea that something I say could possibly help someone in some small way and make the world a better place. I love the idea that I have the power to influence the world for the better, because that implies something about the possibilities of how great world I live in could be someday, and it also implies that there's something good in me.

Let's not even stop there though...

I'm also writing because I love to look smart. My Ego loves it when I read over something I've written and it looks like it makes sense and will be effective. A part of me is really hoping people will read this, be impressed, and their opinion of me will improve.

If I didn't acknowledge that, I'd be LYING. I'd be lying to myself, and I'd be lying to you.

Now, I'd love to pretend that I'm a pure and innocent saint existing beyond the Ego and beyond self-interest, but if I want this article to be effective in its intent (in this case: giving people an effective tool for manifestation) then I must acknowledge all of me, not just the shiny bits. I must do so shamelessly, and without guilt. Only then will the Universe acknowledge my desire.

The Universe doesn't care if you've conquered your Ego. It only cares that you fully comprehend how your decisions are being influenced by it, and that you've accepted yourself exactly as you are. If you are being completely honest about your intent, then your intent can be made manifest.

Pretend at purity at your own peril.

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Manifestation Fundamentals: The Unique Advantage of Weakness

The following article is part of a series on Manifestation. For the first part, please see Manifestation Fundamentals: Accept That Life is Unfair. In this article we continue to discuss "The First Fundamental of Manifestation":

To work with The Law of Attraction properly, you must transform yourself into a person who has this ability. Change is not optional.

Here we'll tackle the concept from a different perspective.

---

One thing many of us spend a lot of time on is the careful control of our energies. Positivity, compassion, patience, happiness, and all of the things we call "high frequencies" start as quarries we pursue, then hard-won prizes, and then simply become habits.

In theory this not only makes us happier and healthier, this also opens us to the higher wisdom of the universe. Of course, of particular importance to this series of articles is also the application of the Law of Attraction: if you stay positive, then positive things will come to you.

The difficulty is that the world, and our experience of it, spans the frequency spectrum from one end to the other. As positive as you think you are, you are not completely free of negativity. That's an experience reserved for the next world.

So here's what happens: we have our high-frequency addict. They resonate with joy, bliss out in meditation, and overall present a shiny happy face to the world at all times. And then they get sick, have arguments with friends, business moves don't go as planned, and they're left wondering: how is this possible? I've been entirely focused on positivity, so this shouldn't be happening. I did not ask for this. What's going on?